Tribute By Chris

This was written by Chris at Dawn's request and read by her cousin at Ron's memorial service in Kenmore NY last Sunday


My cell phone rang one night, I was sitting on the couch mindlessly scrolling through the endless channels on TV and it was Ron asking me " where are you?......not, how are you, or what's going on....no....where are you? Having a travel schedule as demanding as his, we always started our conversations this way. I surprised him and said I was home in LA and shot back "where are you? " Never mind" he said.... turn on ESPN and tell me what "it" sounds like. As I changed the channel, of course I realized he was in a broadcast truck working an event and once again wanted to know how "it" sounded and what can we do to improve "it". This pursuit of "it" was never ending and will always remind me that his passion to make "it" sound better than anybody else, is why Ron Scalise and I became friends.

I met Ron (6) years ago at a Surround Sound Conference In LA through a business associate who said: " I want to introduce you to someone..........he will be your new best friend". He was right. Having just "went off" about "whatever" in my presentation, I sat down at a table with (7) people I didn't know. I say this because after being introduced to Ron and ordering a drink, I remember the waitress asking us "would you like another" and realizing that he and I were the only ones left sitting at the table. That moment forged a relationship that was more than unique.....and dare I say inspirational. I know it changed both our lives and hopefully, countless others.
Martin Luther King said: " Our lives begin to end, the day we become silent about things that matter"
"it", mattered to Ron. His passion and commitment to his craft was unmatched by any in his industry. I remember at a trade show in Las Vegas, going to an "industry gathering" with him and noticing his place in the broadcast community. After showing his invite, yeah,..... I was his date, we never made it pass the desk. He was immediately stopped by "whoever" and the barrage of people approaching him never ended. My role at that point was to gather food and drink and return to the master. Surprisingly, I actually enjoyed it. Ron was always gracious and introduced me to everyone that stopped to talk to him. I especially enjoyed meeting those that for years, I endlessly tried to call and get to know. Because of Ron, they of course acted like they knew me and yes, I was their best friend. Ron's selflessness was one of his many traits.
We shared more than a "business" relationship. I think all musicians, I didn't say professional musicians, share an emotional connection to each other. He was a musician and more.....sharing and touching so many. Whether you are writing it, playing it, recording it, and presenting it, "it" is in your blood, like family, and can never leave you. His path was this way. I'm glad my path was this way too.
When I first started, as a "second" recording engineer in NYC, I was having dinner at a restaurant with a record label president and Sam LeFrak, owner of the label and OWNER of Queens. As we walked in, I was given a blue blazer to wear......being 18, I had no idea......I mean.....NO...... IDEA! The night was a blur.....the record I delivered to the label was being "passed on" and I remember a conversation about "50" people that matter in "the industry". This infinite wisdom went in one ear and out the other. Years later, I was attending a dinner with a "different" group and heard the exact same speech. What dawned on me was maybe, I was going to meet the "50 people that mattered" by attending these dinners. Luckily, I was wrong ......thank God! The dinners I now attend are by my choosing....and I'm sure fate is definitely involved.
Needless to say, over the years I believe I have meet some of those "50" that matter. And, I actually didn't have to go to "50" dinners. I know they don't know it.....those that make a difference have no idea about their relevance to others and what they contribute to the world. I do know one thing.....that number is now 49.....because I met Ron Scalise.....and he was one of the "50" that matter.
The true measure of a person is not the wealth left behind, but the richness of the memories he gave to others.

Until we meet again my friend.....

Love,
Chris Fichera

Memories, These are Kind letters sent by friends.

Kevin,

I have been following the email, online and broadcast memorials for our friend Ron Scalise. I am having a real problem thinking of him in the past tense...maybe as it should be.

I wanted to drop you a note to tell you that events both personal and family have conspired to make my attendance tonight impossible, but I also want you to know that you, his family and his many other close and dear friends have been constantly on my mind since I received word of his departure.

Ron was one of my first friends as a young EIC for a now-defunct mobile unit company called EJ Stewart. He, along with Stuart Shurtleff taught me much about how to survive this thing called remote broadcasting and how to have fun doing it. I can never thank Ron enough for his spirit, tenacity and humor (especially when things weren't going...shall we say...swimmingly). I watched with tremendous pride as my friend rose through the ranks of countless board jockeys to become one of the true gurus and legends in the business. He was one of the guys you wanted to be associated with in the industry, and most sensible folks paid a whole lot of attention when he spoke.

The loss to our industry is immense, the loss to his family incalculable. My heart is well and truly broken right now because of the loneliness his departure brings. I find myself acting like a child and getting angry at the world, angry at fate, a higher power, God; whatever you choose to name it; that my friend was taken away.

I guess with age comes a little comfort knowing that we will grieve and we will move on, but we will not forget. And in time, my friends’ memory will not be clouded with sadness and anger, but will be wrapped with the smile and the good things he brought to this life.

Please give my deepest condolences to all of his family, and to you, I pray that your heart may heal quickly and your sorrow fade soon.


“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.”....George Carlin



Sincerely,

Jerry Gepner

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Dear Kevin.

I met you in Daytona this Jan and visited to ESPN Remote Track. But....

I heard that Mr. Ron Scalise died in a one-car accident on Thursday.
It was so tragic news for me.

He was not only a great Engineer, but also very kind and open mind person.
He invited me to his remote track and gave us lots of useful advise.
I express my condolence.

Thanks Ron, Otari will continue to develop Lightwinder Broadcast (LWB) to
make more convenient and strong tools for live broadcasting.


This news is very sad, but I wish you have happy holiday seasons and
wonderful new year.



Kyoji Harada
Otari, Inc.
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Kevin – Mike Canevaro here, formerly of SRS Labs. I just wanted to say thank you for all you have done during this difficult time for all of us, and for Dawn. I cannot express how difficult this is for me, and I know how close you and Ron were so I can only imagine your grief. I am so sad for Dawn and the kids and I know that incredible faith and the knowledge that Ron loved them and life so much will help get them through.

Unfortunately, I could not make the funeral today, but can I ask that you let me know where Ron will be buried? I live in California, but am back east often and I would like to visit Ron and talk to him. Also, can you add my email to your growing list (Mark Elinson, Henry, and others have all been keeping me in the loop)?

Kevin, I will miss Ron so much. He and I became such good friends over the years and I know that he is the reason for my success and I owe him so much. More importantly, he was such a great human being and we shared so many laughs and good times. I will really miss my friend.

Thanks,

Mike

________________________________
Mike Canevaro
Vice President, Business Development

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Kevin- I've come to know you as someone who can always get the job done, regardless of the situation... but that has always been in a work-based capacity.

What you did this week for Ron and his family has been truly amazing. It takes an incredible person to bear the burden of losing someone who you hold so closely to your heart, and at the same time be so selfless and dedicate yourself to the needs of Dawn and Ron's family. I don't know if I can find words to describe how much it touched everyone that Ron knew.

I can't say that I knew Ron as well as you did, but I knew him as a good person, a professional who was an artist and a craftsman, and a guy who always greeted me with a smile and open arms. I often visit Heather in the Event Ops office, and from time to time Ron would be there with a good story, or a 'hey Maz, what's shakin,' or just a simple smile and a pat on the back... never anything negative. He had a passion for life, his craft, and his family. It always showed. That's what I'll always remember of him.


Take some time for yourself, bro. You've done so much...

All the best,
Tom

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I know you're in the midst of being there for Dawn and the kids and Ron's family, and are getting a million phone calls & e-mails ...but I had to drop you a note and express my deepest condolences to you for what is, and will always be , a profound loss ...and of course I'd like to express that to Dawn and their children and Ron's parents, which I'll do on Wednesday in person...but your strength and assistance to Dawn and Ron's family is beyond admirable , it deserves accolades that only God can fully give you...I just had to tell you how much you're in my prayers and thoughts , Kevin, I know this is a devastating loss for you personally , having worked with Ron for a few years now I know how close you two were and how much he relied on you for your strength and assistance , and for your phenomenal professionalism and ability in helping him do his job...

God bless you , Kevin ...I'll see you on Wednesday...and I'll send Kurt a check for the memorial fund before I drive up to Connecticut on Wednesday...

Just want to close by saying how much Ron was a pleasure to know and to get to hear from and deal with...in the midst of all the rushes and emergencies it was always a pleasure to deal with him , he was funny and bright and taught me a lot...my life's richer for having known him, professionally but more importantly personally...and I will miss him a great deal...

Joe Prout
Dale Pro Audio

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Dawn's Letter To All

Today it has been one week since Ron was taken from us. I’m sitting here, now alone, still in shock from it all. This week has been a nightmare, yet I have been very consoled by the outpouring of affection that you have all showed for Ronny, myself, the kids, the family and Kevin.
Ron and I shared so many things together. We loved our combined four children very much, we discussed his work constantly and I helped him as much as I could with it (I was the one at home calling him during X to tell him the center speaker was out or the lip sync was off), we had the same ideals, the same beliefs, the same fears and concerns and the same dreams for our future together. We loved music and we played together often. I think Ron’s abilities at the piano were what amazed me the most. He made a piano touch you inside. Our neighbors loved the summer days when the windows were open and they could enjoy what he would call his ‘incapable playing’.
Before the memorial on Wednesday, Kevin Cleary and I sat while Grayson Hugh played the two songs that were to be played during the service so we could hear them once and hopefully not be hit so hard by them during the service (which didn’t work). Besides the music itself, what hurt me the most was to watch Grayson’s hands on the keyboard. He played exactly like Ronny, and his hands looked exactly the same as Ron’s did when he played. Actually, Ronny would tell you that Ron’s hands looked like Grayson’s, since he learned his style from him.
My point to this story is that I have always believed that each person is a collection of the qualities of the people that they meet along their travels on Earth. We usually pick up the best qualities that we admire from each person who we encounter. Some affect us and teach us more than others do. Sometimes we even become exactly like that emulated person in many ways. Ron had Grayson’s piano playing hands. Ron bit the inside of his cheek like his sister used to. Ron had his Dad’s smile. He learned his patience from his children… and I also know that each one of you in some small or large way also contributed to the powerhouse who was Ron Scalise.
Conversely, I know that he left a part of himself with all of you. I have heard so many stories of how he helped you, taught you, took you under his wing, always had a kind word or made you laugh. I know you’re all hurting, but have some peace in knowing he is still with you all. You have all taken some quality of his with you and you will keep him alive by using those qualities.
Thank you all so much for your response to the fund for his children. It was the first thing I could think of that would put Ron at peace. Your kindness and concern is overwhelming. As I said before, this fund will ensure that they have the chance to become as successful and as great as their Dad. I promise to keep you all posted on the kids progress. They are your children now too.
I expect all of you to now take even extra care in your travels – whether miles from the office or home or across the country.
Please hold your loved ones close to you – tell them often that you love them. Ron was good at that.
Also, take care of each other on the road.
To all of Ron’s audio guys – keep it big and keep it loud (even if it’s golf) He will be listening.

I have asked Chris Fichera to take some of Ron’s ashes to England with him in March where he will spread them across Abbey Road. He will then take some to Italy where Ron and I were to be married.
Meanwhile, Ron’s parents and I will be planning for a place in Connecticut where he can rest near his sister, Claire.
I will let you all know where this will be so you may visit.

Thank you all.


“The dream is over – what can I say?
The dream is over – yesterday
I was the dreamweaver…
And now I’m reborn
And so dear friends…
You’ll have to carry on
The dream is over.”

Lennon


With love,
Dawna Marie Trainor-Scalise